I can only hope the readers of this letter are as outraged as I am at Mr. Wade Fulp. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean Mr. Fulp personally for his beliefs or worldviews. But I do think that I must empower the oppressed to control their own lives. His followers often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. The ideas backing up his inveracities are extremely splenetic and voluble and if you don't believe me then you should prevent the Mr. Fulp-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace.
When I was little, my father would sometimes pick me up, put me on his knee, and say "Mr. Fulp's hortatory exclamation that it would be beneficial for him to step on other people's toes makes me think that Mr. Fulp's stupidity concerning totalitarianism is laughable." The fact is, I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness -- not in a dark, out-of-touch world run by cranky, pigheaded lowbrows. Whether the downfall of our culture can be arrested by a violent rejection of Mr. Fulp's heartless ebullitions, I am unable to decide; that would require forces with whose existence I am unacquainted. Nevertheless, you may want to consider that by allowing Mr. Fulp to use lethal violence as a source of humor we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to make him pay for his crimes against humanity. In keeping with all of their inner cacodemonic brutality, his shills embark on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians.
And for those nerdy, inimical libertines who want to hide behind the argument that Mr. Fulp's comrades are not sleazy twerps but rather oppressive rabble-rousers, my question is simply this: What's the difference? Although Mr. Fulp is only one turd floating in the moral cesspool that our society has become, he cannot be tamed by "tolerance" and "accommodation" but is actually spurred on by such gestures. Mr. Fulp sees such gestures as a sign of weakness on our part and is thereby encouraged to continue giving rise to the worst kinds of disaffected grizzlers there are. He talks loudly about family values and personal responsibility but when it comes to backing up those words with actions, all Mr. Fulp does is herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. I would never take a job working for him. Given his insensate plans for the future, who would want to? His diatribes are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Do you think I'm the only one who wants to identify, challenge, defy, disrupt, and, finally, destroy the institutions that manufacture and compile daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against Mr. Fulp? I assure you, I am not. But there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as cynicism or despotism. Specifically, if Mr. Fulp believes that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury, then it's obvious why he thinks that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs.
It would be charitable of me not to mention that Mr. Fulp's concept of team play is sideline sulking. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he says he's going to control, manipulate, and harm other people in the immediate years ahead. Good old Mr. Fulp. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how obstinate they sound. When I look back I think, "The falsehood of the tongue leads to that of the heart." I don't know if it's stupidity, ignorance, or naïveté that makes Mr. Fulp allege that his manuscripts epitomize wholesome family entertainment. What I do know, however, is that I call upon him to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to prevent me from getting my work done.
While there's no dispute that Mr. Fulp's improvident and probably a little diabolic, he's also cunning, implacable, fanatic, and ruthless. Why else would he lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction? Mr. Fulp's associates favor a lifestyle that is as soporific as Mr. Fulp's pronouncements, to put it mildly. When one looks at the increasing influence of misoneism in our culture one sees that Mr. Fulp's signature is on everything. So how come his fingerprints are nowhere to be found? Personally, I don't believe the answer has anything to do with propagandism. Rather, I believe it involves Mr. Fulp's tendency to reap a harvest of death. I discussed this topic in a previous letter, so I will not go into great detail now, but you may be wondering why materialistic, pushy fomenters of revolution latch onto Mr. Fulp's tracts. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why I've tried to explain to Mr. Fulp's quasi-detestable foot soldiers that Mr. Fulp's shock troops have shared the rostrum with what I call ethically bankrupt numskulls at recent symposia. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that when I say that there is a cost, a cost too high to calculate, for messing with the lives and livelihoods of thousands of people, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. This is a common fallacy held by filthy savages.
Although Mr. Fulp's overt ethnocentrism has declined, a covert form still survives and may be an important factor in fueling a tendency and/or desire to curry favor with lubricious dorks using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their "value", their "importance", their "educational mission", and other oleaginous, snotty nonsense. Mr. Fulp's favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to lay out some ideas and interpretations that hold the potential for insight. Even Mr. Fulp's representatives are afraid that Mr. Fulp will publish blatantly nefarious rhetoric as "education" for children to learn in school any day now. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have seen their fear manifested over and over again and it is further evidence that I wouldn't judge Mr. Fulp's apologists too harshly. They're decidedly just cannon fodder for Mr. Fulp's plot to lay waste to the environment.
If Mr. Fulp sincerely believes that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape then he must be smoking something illegal. The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must do what needs to be done. The first step in that process is to realize that I defy the overbearing, directionless pantywaists who stigmatize any and all attempts to put an end to unimaginative feudalism and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. Mr. Fulp's disciples are not technically imprudent wastrels but rather unbridled hoodlums. I maintain that there is a small -- yet not entirely insignificant -- difference. In the end, we have to ask, "How long shall there continue lecherous rubes to vend and unregenerate crackpots to gulp so low a piece of gangsterism as Mr. Fulp's anecdotes?" As you ponder the answer to that question, consider that if Mr. Fulp gets his way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of sensationalism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that he likes to seem smarter than he really is. It therefore always amuses me whenever Mr. Fulp cracks open a thesaurus, aims for intellectualism, misses, and lands squarely in a puddle of perfidious frippery.
I see two problems with Mr. Fulp's pranks on a very fundamental level. First, he is too closed-minded to reason with. And second, he plans to calumniate helpless ochlocrats. The result will be an amalgam of manipulative academicism and self-aggrandizing simplism, if such a monster can be imagined. I assume that Mr. Fulp is unaware of his obligation not to cripple his enemies politically, economically, socially, morally, and psychologically, as this unawareness would be consistent with his prior displays of ignorance. Someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Mr. Fulp. The memo spells out his plans to commit all sorts of mortal sins -- not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that some day, in the far, far future, Mr. Fulp will realize that there is every indication that he sees people like you and me as the perfect drones for his future globalist regime. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how the gloss that Mr. Fulp's janissaries put on Mr. Fulp's undertakings unfortunately does little to build a true community of spirit and purpose based on mutual respect and caring.
My love for people necessitates that I create greater public understanding of the damage caused by Mr. Fulp's effusions. Yes, I face opposition from Mr. Fulp. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. For his balmy plans to succeed, Mr. Fulp needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Sooner or later, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like "philoprogenitiveness" and "photodisintegration". They will be incapable of comprehending that Mr. Fulp hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about Mr. Fulp's double standards. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must name and shame Mr. Fulp's lackeys for their contumelious acts of racism.
By my word, there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Mr. Fulp. Throughout human history, what I call headstrong fiends have always been sneaky. So it should come as no surprise that he must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could Mr. Fulp manage to tell us that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles? That's all I have to say about Mr. Wade Fulp so I guess I'll stop writing now. Oh, and Mr. Fulp: Before you start formulating a smart reply, don't bother because I'm just not interested.